On a diet of Coffee, salad, diet coke, bread, and smoothies and I don’t even care.
If one more person tells me “Its only 5-10lbs to lose” I’m going to snap.
I don’t know what moderation is.
Either I’m eating a whole pizza and several desserts for dinner, or my whole intake for the day is a cup of soup and a side salad.
Either I don’t work out for days or Wake up a 6am and workout for 2.5 hours on a cardio machine and burn 1000+ calories.
Either I’m too big to play the leading lady. Or I’m too thin to play the “fat girl”.
Either I eat fast food and junk food, or I eat whole-grain, vegan, organic shit.
I want to be happy in the middle again.
I also feel like I’m already a mess and Its only September of my senior year. But I’m also like holy shit it’s September of my senior year meaning real-world auditions will be happening in a matter of WEEKS.
Its been a while since I’ve posted. mainly because I haven’t known what to say to add to the immense website.
So far 2014 has been CRAZY but wonderful.
Already, I have embraced some beautiful, new friendships, and expanded upon current ones. My only regret is that I didn’t meet any of these people sooner. I have been more social in the past 2 months that my whole college career.
I have decided to get healthy again. I’m working out daily. I’m eating better. I will be the size I want to be. I’m on medication and I feel so much more sane. The clarity is so new.
I have finally come out as bisexual. Which is totally a relief. And is irrelevant because Matt and I are seriously talking about the “m” word. Yup, 2014 might be the year I get engaged to the man I love SO much.
Classes are great! I mean gen eds are whatever. But, my MT core classes are going to kick my ass (and I’m so excited for them to do so!!)
I thank God for leading me to this point of my life and I’m excited for what will happen next.
i hate how sometimes i have to say “my stomach hurts” or “my head hurts” when someone asks me to do something that i can’t do instead of being honest and saying “i have no energy” or “i’m really upset and i can’t bring myself to perform simple tasks” or “im emotionally exhausted” because physical pain is taken more seriously than mental pain, even though sometimes mental pain is ten times as bad