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Worried. ED Rant.

I feel like I’m slowly slipping back into my ED.

Working out at 7am.

On a diet of Coffee, salad, diet coke, bread, and smoothies and I don’t even care.

If one more person tells me “Its only 5-10lbs to lose” I’m going to snap.

I don’t know what moderation is. 

Either I’m eating a whole pizza and several desserts for dinner, or my whole intake for the day is a cup of soup and a side salad. 

Either I don’t work out for days or Wake up a 6am and workout for 2.5 hours on a cardio machine and burn 1000+ calories.

Either I’m too big to play the leading lady. Or I’m too thin to play the “fat girl”.

Either I eat fast food and junk food, or I eat whole-grain, vegan, organic shit. 

I want to be happy in the middle again. 

I also feel like I’m already a mess and Its only September of my senior year. But I’m also like holy shit it’s September of my senior year meaning real-world auditions will be happening in a matter of WEEKS. 





imagine a horror movie where you’re trapped in your house with a serial killer but all your lights are clappers

so you’re running for your life from this psychopath while both of you are just aggressively clapping the lights on and off

out of all my 3:00 AM ramblings you guys decide to make this one popular

Let’s make this situation even better. Both of you are wearing TAP SHOES, and all of the floors are hardwood.

Its now a broadway musical. 

(Source: the-spooky-gatsby)

Beginning Green Smoothies diet tomorrow!
Time to get healthy!!

Going grocery shopping and buying a bunch of fruit and veggies in bulk and then blending them and then pre-freezing them in ziplock bags.

super easy!

New Year.

Its been a while since I’ve posted. mainly because I haven’t known what to say to add to the immense website.

So far 2014 has been CRAZY but wonderful.

Already, I have embraced some beautiful, new friendships, and expanded upon current ones. 
My only regret is that I didn’t meet any of these people sooner.
I have been more social in the past 2 months that my whole college career. 

I have decided to get healthy again. 
I’m working out daily.
I’m eating better.
I will be the size I want to be. 
I’m on medication and I feel so much more sane. 
The clarity is so new. 

I have finally come out as bisexual. Which is totally a relief. And is irrelevant because Matt and I are seriously talking about the “m” word.
Yup, 2014 might be the year I get engaged to the man I love SO much.

Classes are great! I mean gen eds are whatever. But, my MT core classes are going to kick my ass (and I’m so excited for them to do so!!)

I thank God for leading me to this point of my life and I’m excited for what will happen next. 


i hate how sometimes i have to say “my stomach hurts” or “my head hurts” when someone asks me to do something that i can’t do instead of being honest and saying “i have no energy” or “i’m really upset and i can’t bring myself to perform simple tasks” or “im emotionally exhausted” because physical pain is taken more seriously than mental pain, even though sometimes mental pain is ten times as bad

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